V had a few other friends. Harry had become a friend. Harry had been with her for the seminar she’d been attending and they’d gotten to know each other while they were there. One thing she liked about Harry, was how he could become controversial and annoy everyone in the room. The defiance in V made her identify with that. V was a very defiant character when she wanted to be. There was Florence, her friend from high school, who also went to the same campus as her. The two of them had shared accommodation in their first year of campus and were still in constant touch. There was Linda, her roommate, classmate and friend from high school. That the two of them got along was intriguing; they were very different from each other. There was Tevis, once her crush and now just a trusted friend. V trusted Tevis and she knew she could turn to him for almost anything. There were other friends as well, Inea and Alex for instance. Alex was the kind of friend that would make her laugh at her own problems instead of crying about them. The two of them were not in constant contact, but whenever they talked, she felt peace. She still got along with friends from high school; Chelsea, Leslyne, Cynthia, Diana and many others. They had been there for her when she got Ara and she would forever be grateful for that. She also got along with most of her classmates in campus. However, only trusted friends she could talk to about personal things, and Angie was the most loaded, followed closely by Sam.
As she sat on the bus headed back for Nairobi, she couldn’t help feeling nostalgic. She thought of random things. Anything that would shift her attention from the poor little soul she had left behind yet again. She was longing for the time she and her daughter would stay together. She wanted to be the mother who was there when her daughter needed her and also when her daughter wanted her. She longed for the moments they’d listened to music together, even though Ara had been only a few days old. V could tell that Ara was a lover of music. She had sang for her the songs she loved the most and she knew without a doubt that she wasn’t mistaken. She felt sad, but in that moment, she couldn’t do anything about it and so she thought it wise to not think about it.
There was someone else on her mind. Ask. They had been on and off and she missed him. She had promised herself however though, that she was not going to see him again. She wanted to keep off. A battle between her mind and her soul. Her heart and her brain. She still wanted him. Every inch of him with every inch of her. And though she knew she could stay away, she felt like he had an overwhelming power over her. She had traveled overnight and so at some point she slept. She was uncomfortable. The guy seated next to her on the bus did not make it any easier. He was ogling at her, and even though it was dark, she could feel his gaze one her tits. It felt disturbingly itchy, she wanted to rub it off or simply pull his eyes out. She leaned forward, he leaned forward. She sat back up and he sat back up. He tried small talk and she rubbed him off. V knew how to shut people up. She naturally intimidated men. She hated that she couldn’t do the same to Ask. She loved him more for that. Ask was an alpha male, she fell for that most. The kind of male that made her feel like a woman. Like a small girl that needed him. V always thought of girls as weak creatures. That was what society had taught her. With the level of her defiance, she refused to feel weak. She refused to feel like a girl. She did things men did, except date girls. She was strong, mostly physically. She had poise, and a strong personality. She felt like she was too strong for a stereotypical girl. Yet more than once she had cried in the presence of Ask. It made her feel bad, because it made him uncomfortable, but sometimes she couldn’t help it.
The first time she had cried was the first time they had hooked up. Ask had a girlfriend that V knew about. But circumstance had brought them to bed. She had tried to resist, but there had been something about him. V was not the kind of girl to sleep with another girl’s man. She knew how painful it was to be cheated on and so she had sworn to herself that she would never be that other girl. They had made out and he had told her that he wanted her. He had then gone for protection just seconds before she had changed her mind. She wasn’t going to do it. Not with another girl’s man. So she’d said no and he had stopped. He had laid calmly on her. His skin on hers. His head rested on her breasts, she could hear him breathe. She could feel his hard-on on her thighs. She wanted him too, with such an urgency. She winced when his cock winked. She then slid below him just enough to bring him into her. He’d been hesitant, not the kind of guy that went onto a girl without protection. She teased him, daring him to get off, without words. She could get naughty too… very naughty.
He went for it. Few minutes into the sex, V remembered what she was doing and started to cry. He’d stopped to talk to her. She’d stopped crying. He’d turned her back on. This time, they were going to take it to the end. He slid into her on her tiny but comfortable bed. She laid still, and in disbelief. He carried on. Gently, softly. She gasped. At some point she thought she would die from the pleasure. And then he kissed her again. She just let him in. She wasn’t going to fight it. He was making love to her, only that she doubted he loved her. At some point it got so hot they had to pause, then she couldn’t wait any longer and so they carried on. When they came, he hadn’t been able to get off. She’d had to get the pill. She hated that part. She hated the pill.
V had not expected another time yet there came several. She had not expected him to outdo the first but he had surprised her. V started to feel attached, she knew it would bring trouble, but she couldn’t help it. She was falling for this sex god and nothing else mattered. She knew though, that she could never date him, though she secretly hoped that he’d left his girlfriend. When V found out that he was still seeing her, she felt jealous, confused and stupid. She had no hold over him. He had not made any promises and so she had no reason to feel that way, yet still she felt used. She made a promise to herself that she was not going to see him again. When he called her the next day, she chose not to ignore the call. She was going to go to him and tell him, on his face, that it was over, that she would not see him again.
“You smell good.” Was the first thing he said when she got to his house. That threw her back a little. The tender way he’d said it, and the fact that he’d said it at all. She recollected herself. Nothing was going to deter her from her mission. He then ignored her completely and carried on with what he was doing. She watched a program he’d left running and moments later he joined her.
He snatched her pillow. She felt the urge to get it back. Just like that, they were fighting for pillows and laughing. She’d forgotten to be upset. How she ended up seated on the other end of the bed facing him she had no idea. She loved to listen to him laugh. She generally loved everything about him. Then at some point she won with the pillows. She had them all. He leaned in and kissed her and as all her muscles flexed, he took the pillows away. Such a cheat! She complained, then snatched them back. When he kissed her a second time, she dismissed him. She was not going to fall for the same trick again. He persisted. She resisted. Not for so long. Her heart started to race as his breathing became louder. He stretched her out and soon she was lying stiff under him. She returned the kiss with the same innuendo. She pulled him closer to her so she could feel his weight on her. He snatched away from her grasp and started to unbutton her white long-sleeved chiffon blouse. She let him. Her hands were caressing his face, his small beard. She stroked his hair. Her nipples grew hard as he slid his hand under her bra. He played with them a little before releasing them to the freedom of bralessness. He slid his hands down her thighs. She was in a short black and white checked skirt to match. She looked good, she smelled good, she felt good. He did not get it off, he pulled it up in a very naughty fashion. V gasped. He pulled up and stared at her longingly.
“Did you come like this?” It was a gasp, full of lust.
“With no panties on?”
She did not know what to say. She had had no time for panties. Generally, she hated them. He pushed his lips onto hers and this time she had her legs wrapped around him. She felt his cock wink inside of her. Blood pumped into her buttercup with a new kind of rush. She was wet, and randy. She lifted her waist so he could get deeper into her. She let out muffled moans. He kissed her as he rode her gently. She wanted to scream, but she didn’t. She clang onto him; onto dear life. She was approaching climax rather too soon. Then in that moment she snapped. She remembered why she was there in the first place. The jealously she’d felt earlier came in hoards. The thought of him doing this to another girl was sickening, despite the fact that that girl had been there first. She started to wriggle beneath him. She was feeling too much pleasure and she was in too much pain. He stopped and gazed at her. He did not get off this time. Then his wood winked. She stopped wriggling. She stopped fighting. She stopped asking questions. She stopped resisting. She gave in and they came to the completion of the best sex she had had so far. He rolled off of her. She had forgotten all about the fight. She was grinning. Like a small satisfied girl. She was calm. She wanted nothing more. He didn’t feel the same. He was upset with her. He was angry. She noticed when she tried to talk to him.
She got up from the bed. He didn’t look at her. She talked to him, he responded distantly. She started to feel lonely. They barely talked after that. She felt sad. He must have noticed because he suddenly came around. He held her in a close cuddle and soon they were making love again.
V remembered this day like it had just happened. It was abut 4:07am when the bus rounded the last bend. She had been playing these moments in her head for the better part of the journey. She smiled at times, and at other times she sulked. Ask had brought her so much pleasure and an equal measure of pain. She loved him still, stupid as it was. She had been his throwback. A place holder. He had been her dream.