She looks up yet again, diary in hand, and thinks of how long it’s been. A year perhaps? A century? 18 m0nths, that’s how far she can remember. That’s how long it’s been since she met Dar, father of Ara. Two human gestation periods long. She recons how the journey has been. Her fall out with Kelvin, the guys she has had to turn down. Her mind tries to gather it all, but the stops on one character; Ali. Ali… She tries to rub the goofy smile from her face, then decides to leave it alone. After all, she is a happy girl, as far as happiness, for her, goes. She thinks of the little girl with her mother’s lips and eyebrows and her father’s forehead. One drag, she feels indifferent toward him. She doesn’t feel remorseful for it. Remorse for her is something deserved.
Ali is on her mind. The guy she feels she met when she was supposed to. V then places her diary on her table and takes a pen, his pen, Ali’s pen and jots down her feelings, her obsessions, her reminiscence, like every other normal girl her age does. She is a busy girl, and Ali is one of the reasons she’s been busier lately – the main reason.
As she does, her mind starts to race again. This time however, she is focused on one character. She isn’t sure which order to write it all down, but she doesn’t care. For her, order lost meaning. She has learned to live in the moment, to do whatever feels right in the moment, and surprisingly enough, she has fewer regrets. She recalls that that’s how it happened with Ali. She was in the moment, so was he. This isn’t to say that she doesn’t like her privacy. On the contrary, she loves her privacy even more, she stays more alert even in her dreams lest she dreams of something bad! The only difference is, she feels like she met someone she wants to share her privacy with. Let me take you back, dear reader, to how it all started.
V had had a long day when a total stranger paid her bus fare. He was a dark guy, that was all she noted that day, not that it muttered. Then he had some confidence, or is it ego, to him, that made V continue talking to him when he called days later to reintroduce himself. He had not called that evening or the next day. Not that she cared. She hadn’t even expected him to. She had only given him her number to get him off her case and sure as he had it, he’d gone mum. He’d alighted before her and his seat had been taken by a sweaty bulldog and for a second there, she wished Ali hadn’t left.
The next day she had played truancy and looked for Kelv instead. It was the same day Ara would turn six months old. Besides, Kelv had been on her case too. She wanted to see him because she had missed him. She wanted to say hi and leave it at that. He’d come over to her place and stayed for an hour or two. They had tried to talk but after a few minutes, she had run out of things to say. Kelv wasn’t much of a talker. They had then touched a little, gotten naked but then what she had expected had happened. The awkwardness, the anxiety, the distraction. A few minutes later, they were fully dressed with barely a thing to say to each other. Each felt the compulsive urge to apologize, but then for what? They hadn’t been together for a very long time and they had left things off at an irrecoverable position. As Kelv walked out of the door, she knew it was going to be the last time. But then again she was proud of herself, she had waited for him. She had fulfilled the promise she had made to herself, and unwittingly to him. She now felt free. She was ready to move on. That evening she texted Samuel and they had a long goofy conversation. She would have talked to Angela, but Angela was busy at the moment. When she’d gone to bed, she’d felt a profound amount of tranquility.
Although she felt ready to move on, she was in no rush. She had long decided that Ali was going to be a friend, much as she liked him. He was so random that she didn’t care to introduce him to her friends, not even Angela. She decided she was going to live life. For once she was going to try to meet new guys. She met one guy called Stephen, the name didn’t suit him. All the other Steves in her life were handsome and elegant people. For instance, her friend Steve, her cousin… She quickly decided she was going to pronounce his name badly. That way, there would be a clear distinction. Such a mean girl! She met another guy and almost went all the way with him, but decided against it. She was single, not a slut. And she wasn’t going to throw her life away for anyone. Her friends supported her all the way, she felt loved.
When Ali called V to ask if she could visit his place one Wednesday several weeks later, it sounded harmless. Besides, she felt like she could trust him. He didn’t come across as a cannibal, that was the only thing she was scared of. Yet again, she entertained the thought of someone chopping her beautiful thy into tiny beautiful pieces and making a yummy meal out of it. It was funny but at the same time intriguing. She laughed as she got onto a bus. Normally she would have said no then spent the rest of the evening wishing she’d said yes. But this wasn’t ‘normally’ for her, and she was going to go. She got there, spent a few hours then went back home before it was late. It was a simple fun evening but she was convinced it wasn’t the last. She was right.