She would have left him alone. She was going to. Then he apologized. She didn’t take it, but she felt hopeful. One thing she was certain of it wasn’t as over as she’d thought. She would sit back and watch like she wasn’t part of it. Only this wasn’t possible. Not only wasn’t she part of it, she was it!
He asked if she was OK. Sometimes her responses were coy. She knew she had to face him one way or the other and smooth things out. Two months of war hadn’t made much difference to what she felt. She loved him and there was only so much she could do about it. She thought of it being over, the thought was bearable. What wasn’t was the thought of herself with another man. She could imagine herself meeting new people and talking to them, but the thought of dating them made her stomach to turn. She’d had her share of the fun and she wasn’t going to run around hoping to meet the right guy anymore. If it wasn’t Ali, it was going to be a widow in her older ages. A man who had enough kids and was only hoping for a life partner.
She laughed at the thought. She’d had way too much fun with Ali to let him skid. She wasn’t going to let another woman have him just like that. Much as it was his decision and not hers, she had to do something. At least one more thing. Something she hadn’t done before; face him and talk to him. She had apologized, she had cried, she had begged, she had threatened, she had sworn, but none had been in person. Then she’d become prisoner of her own mind. She created a haven in her mind where she held him on a pedestal. That way she would still date him and not have to deal with the rejections that came with it.
She had dreams, kinky dreams. She got horny from most of them, but had to subdue the feelings because she had no way out. She had made a promise to him and to herself that she wasn’t about to break. A promise that ensured she had her thighs sealed for him.
She sought him out with very little success. She had to talk to him. Maybe he would listen to her. And maybe she would understand his side of the story. She met him eventually and they didn’t talk much. There was no time. He kept his hands to himself in the short time. V needed some contact. Some assurance that there was still hope. She parted his fingers and placed her hand in his. She played with his hand a little then fitted her fingers into his. It felt good. She kept her eyes on his. He returned her gaze. For a moment they both went silent. Then he took her hand and sandwiched it with both of his. She felt their warmth. She suddenly started to feel hot. She stared at him still. Then he squeezed the hand. V felt her heart melt. A bubble ran through her. She gazed at him innocently for a few seconds then with what was left of her breath she whispered helplessly.
“Don’t do that… you are making me horny.”
He dropped her hand and laughed. She blushed and watched him leave. It hadn’t lasted long. But it was a moment she would hold onto. She was suddenly at peace again. There was still so much tension between them. A grudge perhaps. But she was sure of one thing; that as long as there was still something between them, she would wait for him. She would give him his space and time. She was no longer scared of losing him. If it came, she would embrace it and move on. She hoped though that he would wait for her too. She now knew what to do to make things right. Maybe someday she would. If he let her.